When Life Sets Sail Without You

Exactly 7 years ago this week...

I stood in port as my ship, the USS Abraham Lincoln, set sail for a deployment. Her turn to be the vanguard of our protection. My shipmates' turn to stand the watch. Our turn to serve our country.

Except, I wasn't there; I would not make it on that deployment - or any other, as it turns out.

Six days prior I was handed orders to detach from the ship for medical reasons. I put in for temporary shore duty so I could meet the Lincoln underway when I was ready. That request was denied all the way up to the Executive Officer - considering it "elective" treatment. My orthopedic surgeon thought otherwise. So there I was, waiting for surgery and to begin treatment I needed, but seeing my ship, my reactor plant, my shipmates, my friends headed overseas without me.

So what's the point?

The point is that the last 5 years of my Naval career, and the entirety of my future plans based of that, seemed to be washing away. This wasn't the plan!

Adding to the uncertainty I was now facing, I was directly confronted by many of my shipmates thinking I did this on purpose, to get out of deployment. That was the real punch in the gut.

This happens to ALL of us. It's okay. External forces align to ruin our plans. Now we can't do what we promised the world we would. It's still okay. Now some people are going to look at our position in the situation and think poorly of us.

1. Those people don't matter. Connect with those who share some bit of understanding.
2. The landscape has changed, permanently, so modify your plans, or pick a new path.

It sounds easy, because it is, but reliant upon self-confidence. I wish I could tell you I just shifted gears and charged ahead in a new direction. I didn't. I spent months staring at the empty pier and open water. I was angry, disappointed and depressed. Longer than I should have been, but I slowly got re-oriented and began laying out a new plan. I finished my bachelors, picked up a certification, did some cool things with a weapons program, and started my MBA before the Navy finally retired me.

If you're reading this, you can see my LinkedIn profile, and observe that it all worked out. It damn sure didn't feel like that 7 years ago! Hopefully you can take this away from my story:

• The world is always changing, and some days it will look nothing like what you've planned for.
• Don't beat yourself up for not keeping to your word if it's no longer possible.
• Pick a new heading and go for it.

Give the horizon a wink and a wave, turn around, step off the pier, and jump into your new adventure. *Tweet this*

Maybe you're having a life event, maybe your company is "right"-sizing, maybe you've found yourself in way over your head... How do YOU get yourself back on track? Leave a comment and give us all a tip. Thanks!

8 Tips for New Professionals

Transitioning stages in life can be difficult - full of uncertainty, doubt, and tons of mistakes.  

This is all fine - normal, really - but it doesn't have to be the school of hard knocks for everyone.  Here are 10 things to practice as you enter the world of business.

(Millennials & Veterans: I'm talking to YOU, venturing out on new career paths!)

From CEO to salesperson, your success rests heavily upon how you interact with people, how your represent yourself, and the strength in communicating your message - in business, your world is all about people!

Be YOU

1. Never Let 'Em See You Sweat (maybe)

It's a an out-dated cliche, but there's some value to this.  First, literally, try not to sweat - a bit of personal hygiene here, but also think to dress appropriately.  This does not mean to hide stress, excitement, and nerves altogether.  Think about it: if you show no emotion, how can I know to trust you?

2. Always Let Them See You Breathe

Show the people you interact with that you're in control of your world.  Rebecca Knight talks about projecting an aura of calm.  Again, not emotionless, but being able to breathe tells the world you're aware of what's going on, comfortable with your position, and ready to react to what's behind door #2.

Make Your Meetings Count

3. Don't Be Late!!!!

It's definitely not common sense because this remains an endemic issue, at least in Western business.  You're busy, I'm busy -- we all get it, but don't let your business disrespect the time someone else set aside for you.

4. Never Miss a Meeting

Seriously, this happens more than you'll realize if you've just left the Military or are taking your first professional position.  The worst is when you don't even shoot off that last minute email saying you won't make it.  Emergencies happen, but try not to waste your time or theirs.

Help others and and be proactive.  Especially if the meeting has been scheduled for a while, reach out to confirm.  A no-show can place a huge amount of strain on the relationship.  Nothing creates instant awkward like the "I waited around for an hour and didn't see you..." call.

5. Do Your Homework First

Take the time to learn about someone new; Google them, review their LinkedIn profile - they're doing it to you anyway.  If this is a follow-up on an older topic, get yourself back up to speed; review the last email string, check to see if your colleagues made any progress.  Clearly this makes you look good in the group and enables you to be more productive, but you also make a great personal impact on others by noticing their work.

Harness the Power of Writing

6. It's OK to Ask For Something in Writing

You shouldn't be hiding behind an email, but consider the request.  Giving them some time makes it comfortable for people to respond on their own terms.  When the topic isn't time sensitive, drafting a note allows you a second, third, or fourth chance to review your message.  Here's some common messages from Danny Rubin to get you started.

Something written also creates artifacts for everyone to use later on.  With metadata and massive search functions on the rise, it's becoming easier to retrieve information on demand, eliminating all the paperwork we used to create just to track the paperwork we wanted to save.

(Note: If you're writing something for CYA purposes, take a second look at it to make sure it's necessary.  If this becomes too frequent, take a further step back to ask yourself if there's a problem with your environment.)

7. Follow-up On Your Own

It's impressive.  Really.  It doesn't happen often enough outside of sales efforts.  By not waiting until the day before the next meeting, it helps save someone else some time, and shows that you care about the mutual item you're connecting on.  It's really simple, no tricks (except maybe a calendar reminder) - just do it.

8. You'll Need it Later...

Yep, that's right.  If your sights are set higher, being able to effectively communicate in writing will set you apart from other managers and leaders.  Don't let writing be one of those lost arts you gaze upon - practice being able to express yourself in more than 140 characters or a text.  There are uses for those forms (I encourage leveraging every available means of communicating) but being able to tell a story will help you win the support of your team, or secure the funding for that project you're aching to get started on.

What are your top tips for the workplace? Leave a comment below and share them with us.  Thanks for reading!